Since today is Good Friday, I’ve decided to post an excerpt from my book ► (The book is only in German) The Invisible Burden. It is a moving dream about the Father’s love, what it cost Him to tear His Son from His side and let Him die a cruel death:
What have they done to my son?
Preliminary Note
On the night of March 31, 2007, I had another rather unusual experience. Yes, you could call it a dream. I’ll try to describe it, though it’s not that easy.
It all started when I dreamed that I was reading a book by Geri Keller about God’s fatherly love. It was more of a small paperback, illustrated with copperplate engravings; the text sometimes flowed into these drawings (the “Prophetic Bulletin,” published by the Schleife Foundation, is often illustrated with such engravings). Today I know that there is indeed a book by Geri Keller about God’s fatherly love. It has the simple title: FATHER.).
As I was reading, two things struck me—they were like two key points that stood out to me. But I’ve forgotten both of them. For some reason, I got stuck on an illustration. I stared at that image for quite a while until I finally realized what I was seeing.
The portrayal of the Father in this dream is quite unusual. Normally, we are familiar with crucifixion scenes featuring only the women and Jesus’ friends, who take his body down from the cross while weeping bitterly. Here, however, we get a glimpse into the Father’s heart. He did not stand by indifferently, look away, or remain aloof from the events because, as God, they did not affect him. No, the Father’s heart was torn apart as well. An important dream for all who struggle to believe in God’s fatherly love…
At first glance, it seemed to be just one of the many depictions in which women take Jesus down from the cross after his death and mourn and weep for him… A simple altarpiece that hung in a church.
But suddenly it dawned on me that the scene was quite unusual. For it was the father who carried his son’s battered body in his arms and let out a scream that was both piercing and stifled: “MY SON IS DEAD, MY SON IS DEAD!!! What have they done to him? MY SON IS DEAD!!” And he wept bitterly over him…
Suddenly, he turned to me (or to you) and said:
“If you ever have doubts about me… FOR YOU! If you ever can’t believe that I truly love you… FOR YOU! If you ever despair over how much longer you can endure this… FOR YOU! If you ever think you’ll never make it… FOR YOU! If you ever feel your guilt is far too great… FOR YOU! If your loneliness threatens to literally consume you… FOR YOU! If self-reproach threatens to crush you… FOR YOU! If the words IMPOSSIBLE and NOT FOR ME weigh you down…
FOR YOU! … FOR YOU! … FOR YOU! … FOR YOU!”
And here you can apply this to whatever problems or doubts you may have about God. The cross and Jesus’ death were truly devastating events. Not only for Jesus, but also for the Father, who allowed his one and only precious Son to die so that we might finally return to him…
“For God (the Father) so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
The father stood on the steps of the altar, gazing out into the nave, and wept bitterly, sobbing loudly for his son who had died in such misery. The blood flowed down the white marble steps of the altar and dripped into the chalice of the Last Supper, as if to emphasize how important the Last Supper was, what power lay in a single drop of his blood, a single drop of the Last Supper…
“We proclaim your death, O Lord, and we praise your resurrection, until you come in glory.”
The book also includes a wonderful poem by Theresa Conrady, who explores the theme in a deeply moving way.
You can find this and other stories in the book ► Die unsichtbare Last (in German)/a>, which you can order here:
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Die unsichtbare Last12,00 €
